Premarital Care Plan Homework — Read Online | Matt Black Biblical Counseling

Session 1: Intake, Expectations & God’s Design for Marriage

Get to know the couple, clarify expectations for counseling, and establish a biblical foundation for marriage.

Purchase Tying the Knot by Rob Green and Chapter 1, “Jesus Must Be the Center of Your Life”
Complete the Premarital Inventory
Read Powlison: Five Pre-Engagement Questions individually, then discuss.
Answer each question honestly and individually. Consider especially:

The purpose is honest discernment, not persuading yourself or the other person toward engagement.

Use the relationship assessment to identify strengths, concerns, patterns, and wise directions for growth.

Complete the Red / Yellow / Green Relationship Assessment Worksheet separately first, then compare.
Discuss: Where are we aligned? Where are we unsure?
Complete the Four Hearts Exercise. Using one significant incident, identify a recurring heart struggle: what happened, what you thought and felt, what you wanted or feared, and how you responded. Describe how trust, meekness, hope, or contentment should replace that response. Include one relevant Scripture passage and one practical step of repentance and obedience.

Bring expectations into the light and develop a biblical understanding of love and covenant commitment.

Read Chapter 2, “Love with Jesus as the Center” from Tying the Knot
Complete the Get to Know You questions. Try to do at least 4 out of the 7 sections. Feel free to do them all! If you can’t do 4 sections, that’s ok. Do what you can.
Read the Expectations in Marriage PDF article and complete the questions.

Understand conflict, practice healthy communication, and pursue biblical resolution and forgiveness.

Read Chapter 3, “Problem Solving with Jesus as the Center” and Chapter 5, “Communication with Jesus as the Center” from Tying the Knot
Read Communication and Conflict PDF article, a summary of our coming session, and talk about the article point by point together.
Read How to Avoid Marital Strife
Read Circuit Jammers in Communication
Read and listen to 5 Rules of Biblical Communication
Read Ephesians 4:25–32 together 4 out of seven days. The homework builds directly from it. Remember the five rules of communication. Post them.

Speak Truth in Love: Address issues with accuracy and gentleness — “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor…” — Ephesians 4:25; “Speaking the truth in love...” — Ephesians 4:15
Keep Current: Address issues quickly — “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” — Ephesians 4:26
Attack Problems, Not People: Remember that words build or destroy — “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up…” — Ephesians 4:29
Act, Don’t React: Respond like Christ — “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Listen Attentively: Listen before you speak! — “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…” — James 1:19

Explore one-flesh partnership, the husband’s loving leadership, the wife’s willing support, and shared responsibilities.

Read Chapter 4, “Roles and Expectations with Jesus as the Center” from Tying the Knot
Read Roles in Marriage. Write down 2 takeaways and at least 1 question you have after reading the article. Discuss. Where do you agree? Where do you differ?
Complete the Questionnaire on Expectations PDF worksheet. Share with each other.
After the session: Put together a combined and agreed upon list of expectations and household responsibilities. Remember this is not written in concrete, but just a guide that will change over time.

Build a shared biblical approach to money through transparency, stewardship, planning, generosity, and contentment.

Develop a biblical understanding of sexual intimacy, whole-person unity, mutual care, purity, and faithfulness.

Review readiness and establish shared priorities, spiritual rhythms, and direction for marriage.