Matt Black Biblical Counseling
Premarital, Dating, Marital Enrichment

Responsive counseling resource

Questionnaire on Expectations

A detailed premarital worksheet for discussing household responsibilities, family relationships, finances, children, intimacy, and everyday routines.

2 pages in the original
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Household Responsibilities

  1. 1.
    Who will take out the trash?
  2. 2.
    What does “taking out the trash” include?
  3. 3.
    Who does the laundry?
  4. 4.
    What does that include?
  5. 5.
    Who does the bulk of the housework?
  6. 6.
    What specific tasks will the other spouse do?
  7. 7.
    How will tasks be divided when expecting company?
  8. 8.
    Who takes care of insurance matters?

Family, Children, and Intimacy

  1. 9.
    How often will we call our parents?
  2. 10.
    Will we do this individually or together?
  3. 11.
    Who will address parents who are overstepping their bounds (communication/advice/demands)?
  4. 12.
    Who sends birthday cards to relatives?
  5. 13.
    How many children will we have?
  6. 14.
    How will we handle the news of a potential birth defect/handicap in our child? Will we carry the child full term?
  7. 15.
    What about birth control?
  8. 16.
    Who will initiate love-making?
  9. 17.
    What steps will we take to ensure we are making each other’s physical demand a priority?

Home and Practical Responsibilities

  1. 18.
    Where will we live?
  2. 19.
    Why will we move?
  3. 20.
    Who will mow the lawn?
  4. 21.
    Who will keep up with the home fix-it/maintenance list?
  5. 22.
    Who will buy the groceries?
  6. 23.
    Who will manage the finances and write the checks/set up drafts to pay the bills?
  7. 24.
    Who will service the automobiles?

Media, Vacations, and Church

  1. 25.
    Will we own a television? Cable?
    1. a.
      On-demand video services?
  2. 26.
    Who will decide what we will watch?
  3. 27.
    Where/how often will we go on vacations?
  4. 28.
    Does visiting family constitute a vacation?
  5. 29.
    Will we try to attend church if vacationing over the weekend?

Routines, Parenting, and Technology

  1. 30.
    Who will get up first in the mornings?
  2. 31.
    When will we begin to have children?
  3. 32.
    Who is primarily responsible for discipline?
    1. a.
      During the day?
    2. b.
      At night?
    3. c.
      When we are together?
    4. d.
      When in public together?
  4. 33.
    Where will the computer(s) be located in our home?
  5. 34.
    How much time will we spend on the Internet?
  6. 35.
    Will we have smart-phones/tablets/other mobile internet-enabled devices?
    1. a.
      Are there any off limit areas for using devices with data/internet service?
    2. b.
      What steps will we take as a couple to be accountable to each other for our online habits? Filters? Passwords? Freedom to check each other’s devices?

Church, Education, Time, and Money

  1. 36.
    How often will we attend church services?
  2. 37.
    Is joining a church a priority?
    1. a.
      What are the qualities we are looking for in a church/congregation?
  3. 38.
    What kind of schooling are we comfortable with for our children (public, homeschool, Christian, private)?
  4. 39.
    How will we spend our evenings and free time?
  5. 40.
    Will we borrow money? If so, for what, when, for how long, and from whom?
    1. a.
      Will we use credit cards?
    2. b.
      If so, for what and how soon will we pay them off?
    3. c.
      Will we have joint banking accounts or separate?