Purpose and Practice
Suggested Steps
When Spanking
Give clear expectations ahead of time. Do not repeat warnings. If a single warning is given don’ t threatenrather inform.
- Determine if an offense has been committed. If so, proceed to private setting. En route parent is to check self control, review discipline plan, and pray. (“ Remove log” )
Discuss “
What was the expected behavior, attitude?” “ What did you do?” “ What should you/could you have done?”“ What does the Bible call what you did?”“ Who chose to do wrong?”“ What does the Bible tell Daddy / Mommy to do when you disobey?”
- Have the child assume a proper position. For the smaller child across the lap is appropriate, for the larger child leaning over a bed is safe. For a child who is out of control restraint by the parent may be necessary until control is achieved.
Slowly, lovingly, prayerfully, and thoughtfully proceed with the spanking. Use a rod. (God has instructed parents to use an instrument other than the hand. A “ rod” is a flexible branch, twig, ¼” dowel rod, paint stick, etc.). Use the wrist rather than a full arm swing, see that contact is made with the child’ s bottom.
- Stop, and allow the child an opportunity to cry and to regain composure. Then discuss with the child how they did with the spanking- “ You did a good job”, “ You did not stand still”, etc. Ask the child the diagnostic questions in question 3, and assess for a “ change in direction”. If he is still rebellious, disrespectful, belligerent, and without repentance discuss that the facial expressions, tones, words, or actions are not showing the fruit of repentance and that another spanking will be necessary. Repeat the above steps.
- If repentance is evidenced begin plans for forgiveness and restoration, pray for forgiveness and give thanks.
If repentance is not evidenced pray that God will bring conviction, and that the child will be protected from danger. Encourage the child to choose to please God by obeying. Be careful to not bring up the disobedience wrongly when forgiveness has been granted.
- Lastly, show love to the child. Hug, give a kiss, remind them of the purpose of discipline. The air is cleared.
- Expect some pressure or manipulation. “ If you really loved me you wouldn’ t do this…” “ What kind of a Christian are you…?” “ When I grow up I’ ll never do this to my kids…” “ If I die, you’ ll be sorry…”
Encourage a right attitude about discipline:
Proverbs 1:7 “ The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 12:1 “ WHOEVER loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid.” Remember: King David blew it with his son Adonijah who rebelled against David’ s authority and brought shame and heartache on him. I Kings 1:6 “ his father had not rebuked him at any time.”
Nasb “
his father had not crossed (pained) him at any time.”
Asv “
his father had not displeased him all his life.”