Introduction and Overview
Determine the S.o.s.
Scores: To find the right score, add your severity, ownership, and support scores together, you should come up with a score between 3 and 30. The following ranges will help you decide what to do next. Remember you need to adjust responses on a case-by-case basis. 3-15 Care for in the group; consult with your life group leader 16-24 Consult with life group leader; possibly refer to Biblical Counseling Center for formal counseling 25-30 Refer to Pastor/Elder and Biblical Counseling Center for formal counseling
- How long has this been going on?
- How are you thinking / feeling about the situation?
- Is it better or worse than X months/weeks ago?
- How have you contributed to this situation?
- Where have you sought counsel on this?
- What have you done about it?
- Who else knows about this?
- How have they helped you?
- How can I pray/support you during this time?
Seriousness Ownership
Support
From Fruit to Root
Anger Foolishness
Interrupting/defensive Deceiving/lying Impatient /Irritable/Intimidating Joking/distracting Critical of others Insensitive/Immature Sarcastic/harsh (peace breaker) Attention seeking/over emotional
Despair Fear
Hiding/escaping Controlling/avoiding Complaining/grumbling Second guessing Lonely/dependant People pleasing Self-conscious/shy Enabling/appeasing (peace faker)
Bitter/vengeful thoughts Selfish/blame-shifting thoughts Condemning/judgmental thoughts Obessessive thoughts/fantasy I’m right/I can’t be w rong I’m a trouble maker I’m entitled I can’t help it
Defeating/doubting thoughts Perfectionistic/self-protective thoughts Self-pity/jealousy Victim mentality/thoughts of shame I’m a loser/w hy go on? I’m damaged goods/never good enough I’m unw orthy I’m unlovable
Control Pleasure Authority Attention Pow er Greed
Comfort Security Affirmation Acceptance Escape Peace Describe the situation…and your response to it. What were you thinking or feeling? What did you want? Fruit (behavior) Trunk (thoughts) Root (desires/motives)