Seeking God’s Wisdom in Family Transitions

Biblical Counseling Homework Assignment

Title: Seeking God's Wisdom in Family Transitions

Purpose: To help you and your spouse evaluate your current church situation and prayerfully plan for your family’s future, using Scripture to guide discernment, relational dynamics, and communication through the process.

Part 1: Personal Reflection and Prayer (Individually and Together)

Instructions: Each spouse should prayerfully reflect on the following passages and questions, then come together to discuss your responses.

Read and meditate on:

• Proverbs 3:5–6 – “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
• James 1:5–6 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God… but let him ask in faith, with no doubting.”
• Romans 12:1–2 – “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God…”
• Psalm 32:8–9 – “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go…”
• Philippians 4:6–9 – “Do not be anxious about anything… think about these things… and the God of peace will be with you.”

Questions:

1. What specific concerns, hurts, or questions are prompting you to consider leaving your current church?
2. What are your desires or fears about the future for your family and ministry?
3. What do these Scriptures teach about discerning God’s will? How does God promise to lead us?
4. What are good reasons to leave a church? Husband, are you willing to lay down your life for your wife and family? Wife: Are you willing to follow the leadership of your husband? Do you have peace from God in your role that you are willing to trust God and be careful not to clam up or blow up in frustration?
5. Have you been actively asking God for wisdom together? Take time this week to pray aloud daily as a couple for guidance and unity.

Part 2: Understanding God's Will and Healthy Closure (Together)

Read and discuss together:

• Acts 20:17–38 – Paul’s emotional and intentional farewell to the Ephesian elders.
• Colossians 3:12–17 – “Put on then… compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience…”
• Proverbs 15:22 – “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
• Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 – “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…”
• 2 Corinthians 1:12 – “We behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity…”
• Psalm 37:4 – Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Discuss and write down your responses:

1. Are you delighting in the Lord? Are you growing at your present church? Are your children growing?
2. What does healthy closure look like in Acts 20? What elements of love, truth, and goodbye do you observe?
3. Who are trusted counselors or mentors you can seek out for godly advice (Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”)? Make sure you are all on the same page.
4. If God is leading you to transition, how can you show grace and humility toward your current church family even if there’s pain or disagreement?
5. Write out a brief plan for how you could communicate your decision to your church leaders, including steps toward peacemaking if needed (Rom 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”).

Part 3: Family Communication and Parenting Through Transition

Read and discuss together:

• Deuteronomy 6:4–9 – “You shall teach [these words] diligently to your children…”
• Ephesians 6:1–4 – “Fathers… bring [your children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
• Psalm 127:3–5 – “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD…”
• Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go…”

Action Steps:

1. 1.

   Reflect on how your children may be experiencing this situation. What do they understand? What might they fear or misunderstand? Are they happy spiritually and growing at your present church?
2. 2.

   Make a communication plan:
   1. ○

      What truths will you share with your children?
   2. ○

      How will you model trust in God’s plan while acknowledging sadness or change?
   3. ○

      How can you make time and space for each child to talk, pray, and express their feelings?
3. 3.

   Consider setting a family “transition rhythm”—perhaps a weekly time of worship, prayer, and discussion about what God is doing.
4. 4.

   Brainstorm how to maintain spiritual routines if you’re between churches or trying new ones.

Part 4: Planning and Practical Next Steps

Together, write out answers to the following:

1. 1.

   What core values or priorities are guiding your family’s decision (e.g., gospel centrality, discipleship, mission, peace)?
2. 2.

   What are your non-negotiables for a future church home? What are preferences you’re willing to hold loosely?
3. 3.

   What timeline and steps will help you make decisions without rushing or avoiding?
4. 4.

   Write out a “Transition Covenant” as a couple:
   1. ○

      How will we treat each other with grace during this process?
   2. ○

      How will we speak about our current church in front of others and our children?
   3. ○

      How will we pursue unity even if we see or feel things differently?

Assignment Summary

1. •

   Set aside at least 3 sessions this week to walk together through the parts above (1–2 hours per session).
2. •

   Journal your reflections and prayers.
3. •

   Come prepared to share key takeaways with your counselor next session, including:
   1. ○

      Scripture passages that shaped your thinking.
   2. ○

      A draft plan for relational closure, family care, and church transition.
   3. ○

      Any unresolved questions or points of tension that need counsel.

Optional Family Activity

Create a visual “God’s Faithfulness Timeline” as a family. Mark moments where God has provided in the past. Add future spaces labeled with prayer requests and update it as God answers.