Matt Black Biblical Counseling
Parenting & Family

Responsive counseling resource

Loving Discipline of a Child

A biblical guide to correcting children with consistency, purpose, compassion, and a focus on the heart.

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Purpose and Practice

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom”

  1. Discipline should be a spiritual encounter with God, not a physical encounter with you. (Pro 3:11-12; Heb 12:5-11)

Rules should be clear and posted for all children. They should include consequences for disobedience and benefits for obedience. (Dt 6: 4-9)

Determine beforehand the number of swats for each given offense and the instrument to be used to administer the swats. Use a neutral object, never the hand, to spank. Tell him the number of swats he will be receiving. (Pro 22:15)

Deal with the child promptly, but in private; your intention is to discipline your child, not humiliate him. (Pro13:24; 19:18)

  1. Be sure the child understands and knows that what he did was wrong. He needs to know that the discipline is because he has sinned, not because you are angry. If you are angry, wait until you can administer the discipline in love. (Jas 1:19, 20)
  2. Have the child grab his ankles or bend over a bed with arms extended. Be sure his hands stay out of the way. Never punch your child with a fist; never kick him; never slap him in the face or on the head.

Apply swats to buttocks or the upper area of the legs. Be careful not to hit the child’s tailbone, back or knees. (Pro 29:15)

  1. After administering the discipline, take him in your arms and let him know you love him, but that God calls on you to discipline him when he disobeys. (Pro 19:18)
  2. Pray with your child. After you pray aloud, encourage your child to pray and seek God’s forgiveness.

Also, encourage your child to seek forgiveness from any other offended parties, including yourself. With younger children, you may have him repeat a prayer after you to teach him how to pray and ask forgiveness. Your consistent modeling will teach the value of genuine prayer about his character development. (Eph 6:4)

  1. Review with your child how he was tempted. Develop a biblical plan of response so he can make a godly choice the next time he is tempted in the same or a similar way. (1Cor 10:13, 14) Practical Change Assignment © Biblical Counseling Center Spanking Biblical Counseling Center www.BiblicalCounselingCenter.org