Introduction and Overview
Manipulation Test
The following quiz will help you discern the degree to which your children are manipulating you. On the blank beside each statement, write the number that best describes what you believe to be true of your family situation. Rating Scale: 6 = Never 4 = Seldom 2 = Frequently 0 = Always 5 = Hardly 3 = Occasionally 1 = Almost always
I have to repeat and/or reword instructions before my child follows them. ______
When I ask my child to do something, he asks me, “ Why?” ______
I find myself having to justify my decisions to my children. ______
I have grown weary of certain “
topics” which seem to be discussed over and over ______ again with my children.
I walk away from discussions with my child and I feel guilty. ______
My child lies to me. ______
All of the children are disciplined almost entirely by one parent. ______
I rescind disciplinary actions (or lift restrictions) because of sympathetic appeals ______
by my children.
I find myself defending my positions to my children. ______
I get frustrated because my child seems beyond my control. ______
I get sidetracked by my child’
s clever distractions when I attempt to discipline him. ______
- My child tries to obligate me to behave a certain way by telling me what I should, ______ ought to, or must do.
- When my child wants something from me, he tries to motivate me to give it to him ______ without telling me directly what he wants.
My child is able to procrastinate by cleverly using numerous stall tactics when I ______ assign him a responsibility.
My child is able to play on my emotions in order to get what he wants. ______
I hesitate to say “
No” to my child out of fear of what he might do. ______
I am unsuccessful at completing the intended instruction and discipline of my ______
child due to his unwillingness to cooperate.
- My child is so tenacious in wanting his own way that I either give in to his desires ______ or give up on trying to train him.
My child continues to be and plead to have his way after I’
ve denied his appeal ______ the first time.
My child is more disobedient and disrespectful in front of others than he is when he ______ knows that such behavior is not likely to embarrass me. Total Score ______ Scoring Your Test Add up the total number of points to determine your score. Based on 100%, if your total score is 90 or better, you are probably quite adept at preventing manipulation by your child. If your total score is between 75 and 90, you are probably being manipulated to a relatively small degree. If your total score is below 75, it is likely that you are being manipulated to a great extent. Taken from Lou Priolo’ s book “ The Heart of Anger”, p. 145-147