Matt Black Biblical Counseling
Spiritual Growth & Biblical Foundations

Responsive counseling resource

The Centrality of Repentance

Conference notes on godly sorrow, repentance, and restored fellowship drawn from 2 Corinthians 7:10–11.

By Dr. Nicolas Ellen4 pages in the original
View PDF Download PDF

I. Godly Sorrow and Repentance

When sorrow over sin functions as God intends, a person will move into the practice of repentance leading to salvation (2 Corinthians 7:10; Psalm 51:1–4; Matthew 26:69–75; Acts 2:36–41; 1 Thessalonians 1:6–9; Luke 19:8–10).

  1. a.
    Definition of Godly Sorrow

    Godly sorrow can be defined as having grief over sin in regard to God. A person is grieved over the reality that he has offended the almighty God. This person has a sense of guilt with a desire and will to turn away from that which has offended God. Godly sorrow emphasizes the relationship with the Person of God instead of the consequences of the sin. In other words, the person is sorrowful because of offending God, not because of the punishment he will receive. This is why we call it contrite sorrow.

  2. b.
    Direction of Godly Sorrow

    Godly sorrow leads us in the direction of repentance toward God. Repentance is the act of changing one’s mind, resulting in a change of action toward sin. It is not merely feeling bad and seeing sin differently. It is seeing sin from God’s perspective, resulting in a change of purpose and life away from the sin. This is why we call it contrite sorrow.

  3. c.
    Destination of Godly Sorrow

    Godly sorrow leads a person to salvation. Salvation is a deliverance from sin, resulting in a right relationship and fellowship with God and all that comes with that relationship and fellowship.

II. Worldly Sorrow and Death

When sorrow over sin functions according to the world’s standard, a person will not repent of his sin, resulting in death (2 Corinthians 7:10; Exodus 9:27–35—Pharaoh; Matthew 27:3–5—Judas; Genesis 4:1–14—Cain).

  1. a.
    Definition of Worldly Sorrow

    Worldly sorrow can be defined as grief over the consequences of sin. It is grief connected with the results sin brings. This person has a sense of guilt, yet he is not willing to turn away from the sin. Sorrow that functions in line with the world mourns the consequences of sin without considering God. A person functioning in worldly sorrow fears what will happen as a result of getting caught. It is remorse over sin with a change of mind about the sin, but not a change of purpose or life away from the sin.

  2. b.
    Direction of Worldly Sorrow

    Worldly sorrow leads us away from God instead of toward God. Those who walk in worldly sorrow focus on relief from pain instead of relationship with God. Worldly sorrow leads to a preoccupation with self instead of a preoccupation with God’s redemption.

  3. c.
    Destination of Worldly Sorrow

    Worldly sorrow leads us to death. Death is separation from God, resulting in a disconnect from the power, provision, promises, and personal presence of God and all that results from that disconnect. This is why we call it casualty sorrow.

III. Indicators of Worldly Sorrow

Certain indicators reveal worldly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10; Genesis 4:1–14; Mark 10:17–22; Exodus 9:27–35; Matthew 27:3–5).

  1. a.
    Sorrow over what will happen to you as a result of your sin, but no concern over how your sin has dishonored God or damaged others (Genesis 4:1–14).
  2. b.
    Sorrow over sin in the situation, but unwillingness to let go of the treasure that keeps you in sin and away from genuine fellowship with God (Mark 10:17–22).
  3. c.
    Sorrow over the situation, acknowledgment of sin, and acknowledgment of the character of God, but no reverence for God or fear of God’s judgment in the matter (Exodus 9:27–35).
  4. d.
    Sorrow over the situation, acknowledgment of sin, and acknowledgment of the character of God, but preoccupation with relief from the pain of the sin while continuing to practice the sin (Exodus 9:27–35).
  5. e.
    Sorrow over sin, yet seeking to handle the consequences of the sin according to your will instead of God’s way (Matthew 27:3–5).

IV. Indicators of Godly Sorrow

These indicators of godly, or contrite, sorrow reveal genuine repentance. Repentance is the act of changing one’s mind, resulting in a change of action toward sin. It is seeing sin from God’s perspective, resulting in a change of purpose and life away from the sin (2 Corinthians 7:11).

  1. a.
    Earnestness

    A sense of urgency or diligence to turn away from that which is sinful and walk in that which is right in the sight of God.

  2. b.
    Vindication of Yourselves

    Making sure that the record has been set straight in the matter; the clearing of oneself as a result of being forgiven.

  3. c.
    Indignation

    A hatred or disgust with the sin that has been committed. The person hates the sin as God hates it and is bothered by the sin.

  4. d.
    Fear

    One is afraid of the wrath of God. It suggests a fear of the discipline of the Lord and a healthy awareness that God deals with people in their sin.

  5. e.
    Longing

    A desire for reconciliation and connection with God; a desire for a right relationship with God.

  6. f.
    Zeal

    A passion for seeing things done right in accordance with God’s will; a passion for God’s will to be done in a specific matter.

  7. g.
    Avenging of Wrong

    Making sure justice is done. In the context of the passage, avenging wrong has to do with seeing justice done for the sin that was committed. A person who is truly repentant will seek to avenge the wrong.

  8. h.
    Innocent in the Matter

    Seeking to be clean of the sin one has committed. One is pursuing holiness in the matter. Therefore, to seek to be innocent in a matter is to seek to be pure or clean.

V. The Practice of Repentance

Repentance involves putting off the old way of life, being renewed in the spirit of the mind, and putting on the new self (Ephesians 4:22–24).

  1. A.
    Identify where you may have been thinking, speaking, or acting in sin toward God in particular situations (Ezra 10:1–2).
  2. B.
    Identify where you may have been thinking, speaking, or acting in sin toward others in particular situations (Genesis 50:15–21).
  3. C.
    Identify where you may have been thinking, speaking, or acting in sin in response to unfavorable or difficult circumstances (Psalm 73:1–22).
  4. D.
    Identify what you want or desire that you cannot control getting from God, others, or circumstances (James 3:13–4:3).
  5. E.
    Confess and repent of lusting after those wants or desires you cannot control getting from God, others, or circumstances (Proverbs 28:13–14).
  6. F.
    Confess and repent of ungodly thoughts, words, or actions toward God, others, and circumstances (Psalm 32:1–11; James 5:16).
  7. G.
    Identify the thoughts, words, actions, or desires God is seeking to develop through your circumstances (James 1:1–8; 1 Peter 1:1–9).
  8. H.
    Discipline yourself to think, behave, and relate in ways that are pleasing to God (Philippians 3:7–21; Ephesians 4:17–32).
  9. I.
    Identify various ways you can show thanks to God for what He is allowing in your life (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Proverbs 17:22).
  10. J.
    Lay out a daily schedule of tasks that you are responsible for doing, and work on accomplishing them apart from your feelings (Proverbs 16:1, 3, 9; 24:27).
  11. K.
    Identify some key ways you can serve others, and do it apart from your feelings (Romans 12:3–21; 1 Peter 4:10–11).
  12. L.
    Focus on speaking words that are edifying (Ephesians 4:29).
  13. M.
    Learn to receive and cultivate hope that comes from trusting God (Romans 5:1–5; Hebrews 6:9–20; 1 Peter 1:13–16; Hebrews 12:1–3; 1 John 3:1–3).